apr 9th, 08

Dwell with Understanding

my wife, marlene n i had been married for 30 years, n have learned to appreciate each other's unique qualities. but even after all these years she still surprised me from time to time. recently, she reacted to a news report in a way that was opposite to what i expected. i told her, 'wow, that shocks me. i never would have thought u would land there on this issue.' her response? 'your job is to figure me out, n my job is to keep you guessing!' the responsibility to understand your spouse is wat keeps married life interesting n stretching.

this is an ancient challenge. peter wrote: 'husbands, likewise dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, n as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered. without the commitment to understanding his spouse, a husband is not capable of doing what comes next - honoring her. ( picked frm our daily bread )



many good men are becoming extinct. or is it men are facing extinction instead? aha.. dono. suddenly popped into my head. then came all these funny questions n recalling those relationship problems i've heard of n seen before.

i do notice one funny fact. it's the fact that there are some guys out there who would prefer to hav older girlfrens. and i've asked two for the reasons. all they could tell me was they felt safe being with an older girl. cos the girl is more mature than he is and this enables her to take care of him. take care of him instead of him taking care of her? what is wrong with the nature cycle of this world? aha... is the sun rising from the west nowadays ? oh dear ... well, that's a question to ponder. =/

the next issue, why are some people so desperate for a relationship that they can just pair up with anyone after knowing the other partner for just like... 2 or 3 months ? to me, it definitely doesnt make any sense. perhaps they are looking for fun, n not serious relationships. some would say, just try around with a few guys, n then only will u know which or what type of guys suit urself the most.

well, in my opinion, i dont agree. in the end, ur just gonna hurt somebody. it doesnt take a month or two to know a person. it can take up to years or maybe a lifetime to even understand someone. understanding a person isnt simple. cos people still change from time to time. even the birds change their songs as the seasons changes. especially when there are so many kinds of funnily, weirdly n crazily characters we meet in the society.
seriously, once is enough. people say, once bitten twice shy. i can easily have a crush on some guys... but i cant possibly like them for who they are without knowing or understanding them personally. it will be better if we know a person's flaws n knowing that we can actually tolerate with those flaws before we dive deeper. therefore, never rush.
i have to say, after marriage, one has to live with his/her partner for ... 50 or 60 years. well, unless, of course, ur open about divorce n neglecting the kids. this isnt something fun to play with. hehe.

after all this elaboration, i do admit that there is a point one has to accept.
no one is perfect in this world. haha. reminds me of agnes's blog - where the world is perfect but im not. =)
yea, so, i guess, with good communications, we can understand our partner better. and understanding leads to better tolerations between both parties. one cant just count on love itself to survive. but honestly, to love is to sacrifice. so, at the end of the day, i thk the most crucial part here is tolerations.

anyway, hehe... do i sound like im writing an essay ? haha... i gotta be crazy man tonight........ just feel like talking. but no one is free to listen. so blah....all out here. we are free to blog about anything n everything, arent we ? =D and im not thinking about marriage here la.

by the way, no offence about guys. it's an open discussion.