my hostel room' pictures.
this is the curtain provided by our college.










this is my own notice board.
every student will have one at their study table.

hehe. i love to paste all funny n nonsense notices n pics. it's fun to decorate it. hehe.





this is my bed.
my aunt's guitar is on my bed.
was planning to practise playing guitar when free, but i guess i dont have time also.

yesterday was such a great outing. i miss you gals so much.
hehe.
the funnest thing was to try on the mascara. oh, it's still so fun playing around crazily. though can consider already grown up, but still.... hehe.
still young n wild in the heart ! =P

then trying on all the clothes for fun was also nice to do. hehe. chris......ur right.... try on everything. it's free. aha. the ... i forgot the name of the new shopping mall coming up on 1st dec ..... cant wait for that ! im bored of gurney n prangin. let's hit the new mall together ok ! when u remember shopping, remember evelyn toO ! thought i m still unable to shop till i drop, i can still be your loyal shopping companion.

hopefully time won pass by so fast... still got lots of stuff to do this month. xMas is coming soon ! xMas is the best festive season throughout the yr ! nothing can be compared to the warmth n the.....dono how to say. just feel so excited bout xmas every yr. it's year end. santa is coming ! ehe...

yst when met yc time, aha.... she couldnt say out the sentence........' u've grown fatter !' aha.... i knew thats what she wanted to tell me. im sure everyone will be surprised bout it. aih *

no nice food to eat, but i ve put on so much weight ? where's the logic of it ? i feel weird toO ... hmm.... eating too much biscuits and buns i guess. n no exercise makes me gained weight so fast.

eh, did i mention that i highlighted my hair ?ehe... ill post the pic here sOon.. im glad that i finally highlighted my hair, after taking almost 2 yrs to decide + persuading my mom !

there's one more thing i havent been doing for a very long time. i wonder ......should i or should i not do it ? i have not been attending church for quite some time now. and it's near xmas wor ....
sometimes feel quite tired to attend church. it's like..... i dont have a close fren to stick to in church. there are a few cliques around n that made me feel left out. they just stick to their old frens n never had the initiative to invite or welcome new frens into their groups also. i kinda felt dissapointed sometimes. so, everytime when i go to church, i told myself, im going there to worship god. that's my main reason.

hmm, today since woke up this morning has been having stomachache. terrible. diarrhoea almost whole day. n had been sleeping almost the whole day toO .... not a good sat.

going out for dinner !

yO ~

im back again. long time never blog here dee..... too many personal stuff so had to blog in personal blog ....

nothing much to blog la actually.....
life has been normal .....

returning home is the best thing ever, ever since i entered uni. uni life is kinda stress. of course it applies to everyone too ....

the best thing being back in penang is to get to makan besar ! miss all those delicious food ....
had been eating alot since returned.
tasted steamboat, penang satay and penang laksa dee.... char koay teow also. hehe.
then went to Nando at AutoCity yesterday night. wow........ so much changes. the place has been expanding alot more !
they are very creative -- the person who created the idea of AutoCity. it looks like a small town, a town full with all types of FOOD, food from all over the world. from Asian to Western. it's so cool........... cant stand it. the decorations were so beautiful too.
seeing this made me feel so reluctant to return to kl .....

hi...

hey, thanks for keeping in touch. im so sorry bout my tagboard. didnt know why it isnt functioning. do u have any idea ?
i gotta ask yc or sw when i return to pg. it's kinda troublesome to write comments in here or say hi without the tagbard.

i havent been blogging inside this blog for quite some time already. sorry i didnt reply your message.

by the way, thanks for helping my godbro with his stuff the other day. not everyone will agree to help. =)

well, i gotta say, uni life is way different from our high sch life. hehe. of course.....we have to do everything with both our hands. aih.
from the positive perspective, it's a good way to train ourselves to become a more mature and self dependant for the future.

im having exams throughout these 2 weeks by the way.... ill be back in a week's time. hehe. hope chean yen will be back too. and yee chen.... n also, hope they can still remember us le......hehe.
then we can go and play basketball again ! miss those times le.....

we played nearly everyday......hehe. counting how many times i can shoot the ball. hehe. nisbah 1: 100 ? =)
i only get to play bball once here... with all guys wan... cant find any girl who wanna play. cant seem to find any sports activities here. everyone is so busy with assignments and other activities.

okla..... i promise ill visit ur blog when i return. everything also will be until when i return. hehe. soon already ! ~ YiPPee !
the one and only thing is miss the most is our penang food ! i never knew how precious they are until now....... =P

however i still survived till today. hehe. i even gained weight ! so weird. so, really thank God for keeping me healthy till now. although i have not been attneding church for a long long time already, He is still keeping me safe in His arms. how wonderful.

okla.... don wanna crap so much. eh, i write this post is just to reply ur message only le ...... especially for u in my whole entire blog. very special la u turtlerock..... hehe. kidding !``

seeya take care ! and God bless.

ello.... im already back in penang !
finally. hehe.glad im back home.
the old atmosphere n everything....
the smell of the food.......
the taste of my cups n plates....
the smell of my room....
the cleanliness of my bathrooms....
the face of my car....
the cute lil mashimaro hanging in my car.....
the irritating musics from my auto-gate.....
the sound of the fans.....
so many things i ve miss for 2 months....
are all now in front of me.
glad everything is still in the same order...
and still functioning well.....
oh....i found out that the clogs in my bathroom had been missing....
hmm....
havent got the chance to ask my mom bout it....
the new house beside mine is almost completed....finally !
good thing my house never collapsed....or else....//
n also....1 of the lightings' bulb in my parents' room is spoilt.
ah....my room's tv is no longer in MY room....!
the tv, which belonged to me once upon a time had been swifted to my parents' room.
walau eh ~ i was away for 2 months only my tv also changed owner ?
wat else changed ?argh..... don bother.
as long as im home !
``HOME SWEET HOME !``
thats what ppl always say....
=D ``YIPPE ! ``
( never mind la.... i found out that my parents' tv cannot function well dee....hehe) oh....i seeee........

aih. the moment i ve been waited for has finally arrived. today is already the 2nd day im at home. but wait..... i wanna rewind the story a bit.....

rewind ....

on sat, (2nd sept), i sat for my statistics 1 paper. it was a mid sem exam. yaryin drove her car back to coll, so thankfully, i got a lift to the exam hall (kompleks bestari). how nice. it onlytook us about 10 mins to arrive, without having to perspire at all.when we entered, it was freaking hot inside. n i was wearing a long-sleeve blouse. wat man!the hall was really huge. when we were allowed to start our exam, i heard the sound of the wind rushing in.i guessed it was the air cond....n it was. after 1 n half hours, it was freaking cold pulak. ish.wanna hold the pencil n write the solutions also shivering....even my fingers were shivering when i pressed thenumber buttons on my calculator..... but the rest went well.......only for that coldness. the subjective ques were really tough la....

after the exam, we rushed back. i had to take my lunch n finish up my packing. and then head for the ktm !
yeh....took our uni bus --> ktm station --> bandar tasik selatan --> starline --> plaza rakyat --> puduraya.
the number of times i had to climb up n down the pedestrian crossing stairs were countless !walking up the stairs aint a prob, but the thing is that i was carrying a 10 kg bag. (reminds me of gerald n his bag! haha)
so damn heavy....i had to carry my big n heavy calculus book back for revision. n not to forget my C++ book too....hehe.... but i tore my thick C++ book into half. clever le....i know im good in tearing up books n im definitely not good in taking care of my books either. geez.... a terrible student. hehe.

then reached puduraya. saw D. the handsome guy, taking same course and also not forgetting,staying in the same coll with me too ! i seldom see him around. he's kinda cute. but we werent really fond of him at first cos he seemed to be a bit stuck up. maybe bcos of his looks, i guess.but then, now ok dee la after get to know him. quite frendly. got say hi n bye.....n smile too. =) first impressions are not always correct....

so, when the departure time arrived, we headed down the platform 19 stairs. there was a middle-aged man saying hi to me. yucks. i took a quick glance at hime n looked away. that s not a face i wanted to look at. later, he came down n said hi to my 2 other frens. surprisingly, my frens talked to him in a very amicable way.they know him ar ? eeew..... i cant believe it. cos when he came down from the stairs, i saw his pants was unzipped la ! X ] i dare not talk nor look at him. i just stood at the side, speechless, while staring at both of my frens who didnt see the free show. the guy kept asking questions, as usual, thats what these kind of men do.i was surprised to hear my frens telling every piece of our info to him.....from ukm...going back to butterworth...n so on....

i couldnt thk of anything to stop them. aih. but good thing, after the conversation, he didnt doany harm to us. it' s ok la then. dont wanna meet him again. of course ! hehe.

on the way back....i messaged my dad when i reached the Juru toll. then my mom called. to inform me thatmy mom's hand bag was being snatched by a snatch thief. wah....but good thing the person talking to me on the phone that time was my mom. really thank God for that. so, went to make a police report till around 11pm. dragged till so long. i was looking forward to have a nice, delicious supper with the homecoming atmosphere. but ended up talking bout the whole snatch theft incident. aih. no one focusing on me.hehe.no la.....in the end, still get to eat koay teow thing in chai leng park. it was superb. suddenly koay teow thing tasted sooooooo delicious...........
haha. humans. we never treasure or appreciate what we have or what we own until we lose it.

there is only one person i am unable to meet, no matter how much i wanted to.she ll never be here anymore. i am only able to keep your smile n love in my heart in the years to come, knowing n remembering how much u've loved me before....

hey,

everything is still going smoothly here so far. n i hope things will remain like this.
i am much closer to my roomate now. n my coursemate too. really thank God for giving me such nice roomate. not everyone can communicate well with their roomates u know.

my roomate is fair in everything she does. we divide our chores n even food fairly everytime. so far, she is the type of person i would definitely love to stay with....for a yr. hehe. bt still, i hope things will remain the same n not to turn out differently in the end. people can n will change. so, praying that God will carry us through this year n may there wont be any conflicts happen between us.

even my frens who are staying in the same floor with me are treating me very nice. they are frenly. especially the opposite race. sometimes we have dinner together at cafe. hehe. as a matter of fact, im gaining weight since i came here. totally unexpected la....

one most important thing is that i can online in my room ! wow. how convenient. n i just have to pay rm5 for the telephone line wyre. my other frens told me that they can only online in their college cafe n not in their rooms. im glad la. n my coll is the most strategic coll in this uni. it is situated at the center of everything. my faculty is only a walking distance for bout 15 mins or less. so dont have to take the troubles to catch a bus. really hope i will be able to stay in this coll again next yr. praying hard for this.

everything is going quite well, except for assignments n revisions only. really need to catch up with everything. time seems to be so limited. sigh*
so better don blog so much. just cant control myself. so many happenings. must spill out everything. aih.

hope my frens are doing fine in their uni too. u all take care ! keep in touch always yea !~ =D

how to begin.....?

i just want to post a message for my beloved grandma, who just passed away last wed.
although i didnt get a chance to see her for one last time, but i do love her a lot. deeply.
n although i didnt get to communicate with her much because of her illness lately, i do love n still cared for her. it hurts so much to see her suffer.
at least, one thing im glad is that she doesnt need to continue to struggle, to go through her illness now. but there's one thing ill always n forever will miss.... her presence in that house.

hi,

god has given me a great time in university. everything is going quite well at the moment. and i m sure he will continue to guide me through thick n thin ill be facing here.

he arranged a really great n friendly room mate for me. she's one cute girl too. haha. about my size also.

then yst i went for a meeting, a senior introduced me to the meeting. it was actually a meeting to discuss bout our courses n faculties in detail. so i went. n guess wat?

there was a girl who came to sit next to me. wow. then we intorduced each other. she is also from penang, also from butterworth, n also from raja uda ! haha.
i finally met one from my hometown. so i have a friend to travel back to penang together. haha.
n another funny thing is..... when i asked her for her hp number, she gave me. n her name is evelyn too ! oh gosh. i thk i just met a ghost.
haha. but we are of the different surname.

and actually, yst that meeting was organised by a christian society. they were there to help us with our courses although they never reveal their identity. im glad i attended it. god really is awesome ! =)

A song of an Orphan

The river flows from north to west,
I have come to take a rest.
Under trees, the grass like bed,
There I lay my weary head.

I sing a song that is of mine,
About a widow who was kind.
She gave an orphan a place to stay,
Who cared for him everynight and day.

One day came some wicked men,
Who claimed the boy belonged to them.
Poor old widow fought alone,
To tell the world that they were wrong.
In the end she won with pride,
Little boy sat down and cried.
"Fear no evil my little lady,
Dry your eyes that are now wet.
I will see you be a man, a wise man always in all lands."

Now that she is no longer here,
But her words to me are still clear.
Wise I have been because of her, like a mother she was, very dear.

Originally byThe White Pilgrim

[ '' PraIse the LoRd !!! ~ * ]

oh ~ my happiest moment ever ! ~
when i filled in the application form, i chose all the universities in west malaysia only.
usm,upm,utm,uum and upsi. cause an MCA speaker told us that our results have to be very good in order to get into UKM or UM. so, those universities were not in my list.

when i was editing my application form for the last time, i changed UUM (kedah) to UKM (kl).
i was changing it for fun cause i know the chances of getting into UKM are lower. after that, my frens told me that i shouldnt have applied UKM cause of the low chances of getting in.
aih.....i was so upset. means....i wasted one choice. haiyah..... i cannot do anything already, so forget bout it then.

i keep praying n praying that i will be given any universities that God want to place me in. and whichever course that he wants me to learn too. but surely, i hope ill get usm in penang.

today, i was informed that i got UKM. wah ! it was beyond my expectation. totally.
i was kinda sad n reluctant to go for UKM. cause i couldnt find any friends who are going to UKM.
then my mom was telling me that she hopes gina will get UKM...both christians going there together....cause she's the only one who didnt know which uni she's sent to.

then later gina called me n told me she got ukm. hahaha. how happy i was ! really praise the lord for that ! and few mins later, gina gave me another good news. subatra,my fren, too is taking the same course in the same university with me ! i couldnt control my happiness !

now i feel that im so blessed ! i really really am grateful and thankful to our Father for giving me such wonderful plans. i know, as long as i keep my faith n keep on believing in Him, he'll see and carry me through.
now i know that no matter how tough my life will be in the future, i can always put my trust in him for he will take care of me everyday !

praise Him ! the one n only true God *

[ `` Little bOy * ]

( a fren of mine forwarded this story to me. in it ,it was written that the story can move us till cry.
it is a touching yet beautiful one. =)

Sally jumped up as soon as she saw the surgeon come out of the operating room. She said: "How is my little boy? Is he going to be all right? When can I see him?"
The surgeon said, "I'm sorry. We did all we could, but your boy
didn't make it."

Sally said, "Why do little children get cancer? Doesn't God care any more?
Where were you, God, when my son needed you?"

The surgeon asked, "Would you like some time alone with your son?
One of the nurses will be out in a few minutes, before he's transported to the university."

Sally asked the nurse to stay with her while she said good-bye to her son.
She ran her fingers lovingly through his thick red curly hair.
Would you like a lock of his hair?" the nurse asked.
Sally nodded yes. The nurse cut a lock of the boy's hair, put it in a plastic bag and handed it to Sally.
The mother said, "It was Jimmy's idea to donate his body to the university for study. He said it might help somebody else. "I said no at first, but Jimmy said, 'Mom, I won't be using it after I die. Maybe it will help some other little boy spend one more day with his Mom."
She went on, "My Jimmy had a heart of gold. Always thinking of someone else. Always wanting to help others if he could."

Sally walked out of Children's mercy Hospital for the last time, after spending most of the last six months there. She put the bag with Jimmy's belongings on the seat beside her in the car. The drive home was difficult.
It was even harder to enter the empty house. She carried Jimmy's belongings,and the plastic bag with the lock of his hair to her son's room. She started placing the model cars and other personal things back in his room exactly where he had always kept them. She laid down across his bed and, hugging his pillow, cried herself to sleep.

It was around midnight when Sally awoke. Laying beside her on
the bed was a folded letter. The letter said:

Dear Mom, I know you're going to miss me;
but don't think that I will ever forget you, or stop loving you,
just 'cause I'm not around to say I LOVE YOU.
I will always love you, Mom, even more with each day.
Someday we will see each other again. Until then, if you want to adopt a little boy so you won't be so lonely, that's okay with me. He can have my room and old stuff to play with. But, if you decide to get a girl instead, she probably wouldn't like the same things us boys do. You'll have to buy her dolls and stuff girls like, you know. Don't be sad thinking about me.

This really is a neat place. Grandma and Grandpa met me as soon as I got here and showed me around some, but it will take a long time to see everything.The angels are so cool. I love to watch them fly. And, you know what?!

Jesus doesn't look like any of his pictures. Yet, when I saw Him, I knew it was Him. Jesus himself took me to see GOD! And guess what, Mom? I got to sit on God's knee and talk to Him, like I was somebody important. That's when I told Him that i wanted to write you a letter, to tell you good-bye n everything. But I already knew that wasn't allowed.
Well, you know what Mom?
God handed me some paper and His own personal pen to write you this letter. I think Gabriel is the name of the angel who is going to drop this letter off to you. God said for me to give you the answer to one of the questions u asked Him,
'Where was He when I needed him?'
"God said He was in the same place with me, as when His son Jesus was on the cross. He was right there,as He always is with all His children.

Oh, by the way, Mom, no one else can see what I've written except you. To everyone else this is just a blank piece of paper. Isn't that cool? I have o give God His pen back now. He needs it to write some more names in the Book of Life.

Tonight I get to sit at the table with Jesus for supper. I'm sure the food will be great.
Oh, I almost forgot to tell you. I don't hurt anymore. The cancer is all gone. I'm glad because I couldn't stand that pain anymore and God couldn't stand to see me hurt so much, either. That's when He sent The Angel of Mercy to come get me. The Angel said I was a Special Delivery! How about that?

Signed with Love from: God, Jesus & Me.

[ ``Angel's life struggles *] ... `this story is not bout me !`

My story begins by me being told I was pregnant. Little did I know my world would be tore to shreds In just a few short months.I went to the doctor for a ultra sound in my fourth month.I looked so forward to this appointment.After my ultra sound they sent me up stairs to talk to the doctor. He looked at me and said I am very sorry we found something wrong. I see that your child has a hole in her heart and said were going to send you to another doctor that deals with babies that have problems.
When I went to this doctor he wanted to do another ultra sound to see what he could find out.After the ultra sound I got more bad news. The doctor said I see the hole in her heart but I also see water on the brain and that she will be downs.My heart dropped I thought this can not be happening. I listened to more of what the doctor had to say.Now he was telling me that he wanted me to have an abortion explaining to me that if I didn't her head would grow so big during the next few months. When she was born she would be so deformed I would not be able to look at her. He gave me a limited time to let him know what I decided.

On the way home that day I was praying."God I cant do this I have always been against abortion but now with what the doctor said what do I do?" As I was driving home and praying for help I felt the baby move for the very first time almost to say mommy please don't let them hurt me. I knew that God had answered my prayer from that day forward I put Angels destiny in Gods hands. I went back to the doctor to tell him that I would not abort my baby. I explained to him only God can take her from me. I don't want to be the taker of ones life. It is wrong.

My doctor looked at me as if I had lost my mind but never did he question what I said. Months went by and many ultra sounds were done all of them showing she was getting worse. The water on her brain was enlarging her head. I told the doctor she would not have water on the brain that god was going to heal her.Once again he looked at me like I had lost my mind.The time came for my child to be born. They had me hooked up to monitors. They were telling me that we were going to loose her that she was under distress.
I spoke up and said she will not die God won't let that happen. At this point the doctor tells my preacher to go in and tell me that theres a chance she will die that I needed to be prepared. My preacher replied no! God will take care of her. I know my doctor thought this whole bunch has lost it.

Well the time came to deliver the baby and as she was being born the look on the doctors face was amazing. Even though I couldn't see her as she was being born I knew the look on his face wasn't because something was wrong. I knew he was seeing a miracle. Angel was born with the prettiest small round head you ever did see. Angel did have a hole in her heart and she was downs but she was a blessing from God above. After she was born they sent me to my room. My doctor came in and sat beside me on my bed and we talked about what happened. I ask my doctor how he could deliver babies every day that had problems. He looked at me and said when I deliver a baby like yours. He told me that he had never in all his years of practice delivered a child that got to go in the regular nursery. Now you have to understand this doctor only delivered problem children. After they are born he is not suppose to have any other contact with the child or parent but he did me and my Angel.

She touched him, God showed him what he could do. Every time Angel went back to the hospital for surgery he was there. He kept up with Angels progress all the time. When I couldn't go in I.C.U. he went in to see her and even brought her a stuffed animal to be with her. When the time came for god to take her home the doctor that delivered her had called up to her room to check on her. I had to tell him she was not doing well he told me he would be there to see her after while but Angel had went to heaven a few hours later.

The doctor came during the time they were telling me she had passed away. He looked like he was going to burst into tears.I was told many things over her five months she was here. Everything the other doctors said she could not do she did them any way. She blessed many people in the hospital and blessed many people she met out side of the hospital.

God gave me five wonderful months with her. I knew he didn't let me down. He honored my faith, He used her to bless people. Angels work on earth was done.She had one lovely older sister [Mandy Langford] and now she has three other sisters, Nicole, Amber and Breanna, all of them miss her as her parents do.

(her mom displayed lots of her pics, i hope she wont mind me displaying 1 here.)




(as i was surfing the net, i found this site, with this touching story. so just thought of posting it.... seeing the miracles God had done in their lives. )

[ *Living Inspiration* ]

My name is Nick Vujicic and I give God the Glory for how He has used my testimony to touch thousands of hearts around the world! I was born without limbs and doctors have no medical explanation for this birth “defect”. As you can imagine, I was faced with many challenges and obstacles.
*"Consider it pure joy, my Brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds."

....To count our hurt, pain and struggle as nothing but pure joy? As my parents were Christians, and my Dad even a Pastor of our church, they knew that verse very well. However, on the morning of the 4th of December 1982 in Melbourne (Australia), the last two words on the minds of my parents was "Praise God!". Their firstborn son had been born without limbs! There were no warnings or time to prepare themselves for it. The doctors we shocked and had no answers at all! There is still no medical reason why this had happened and Nick now has a Brother and Sister who were born just like any other baby. The whole church mourned over my birth and my parents were absolutely devastated.

Everyone asked, "if God is a God of Love, then why would God let something this bad happen to not just anyone, but dedicated Christians?" My Dad thought I wouldn't survive for very long, but tests proved that I was a healthy baby boy just with a few limbs missing. Understandably, my parents had strong concern and evident fears of what kind of life I'd be able to lead. God provided them strength, wisdom and courage through those early years and soon after that I was old enough to go to school. The law in Australia didn't allow me to be integrated into a main-stream school because of my physical disability. God did miracles and gave my Mom the strength to fight for the law to be changed. I was one of the first disabled students to be integrated into a main-stream school.

I liked going to school, and just try to live life like everyone else, but it was in my early years of school where I encountered uncomfortable times of feeling rejected, weird and bullied because of my physical difference. It was very hard for me to get used to, but with the support of my parents, I started to develop attitudes and values which helped me overcome these challenging times. I knew that I was different but on the inside I was just like everyone else. There were many times when I felt so low that I wouldn't go to school just so I didn't have to face all the negative attention. I was encouraged by my parents to ignore them and to try start making friends by just talking with some kids. Soon the students realized that I was just like them, and starting there God kept on blessing me with new friends. There were times when I felt depressed and angry because I couldn't change the way I was, or blame anyone for that matter.

I went to Sunday School and learnt that God loves us all and that He cares for you. I understood that love to a point as a child, but I didn't understand that if God loved me why did He make me like this? Is it because I did something wrong? I thought I must have because out of all the kids at school, I'm the only weird one. I felt like I was a burden to those around me and the sooner I go, the better it'd be for everyone. I wanted to end my pain and end my life at a young age, but I am thankful once again, for my parents and family who were always there to comfort me and give me strength.
Due to my emotional struggles I had experienced with bullying, self esteem and loneliness, God has implanted a passion of sharing my story and experiences to help others cope with whatever challenge they have in their life and let God turn it into a blessing. To encourage and inspire others to live to their fullest potential and not let anything get in the way of accomplishing their hopes and dreams. One of the first lessons that I have learnt was not to take things for granted.

( continue ... )

this is a forwarded story i received from a fren.
it's very touching n an encouraging msg.
=)

"And we know that in all things God works for the best for those who love Him."

That verse spoke to my heart and convicted me to the point where that I know that there is no such thing as luck, chance or coincidence that these "bad" things happen in our life. I had complete peace knowing that God won't let anything happen to us in our life unless He has a good purpose for it all. I completely gave my life to Christ at the age of fifteen after reading John 9.
Jesus said that the reason the man was born blind was "so that the works of God may be revealed through Him."

I truly believed that God would heal me so I could be a great testimony of His Awesome Power. Later on I was given the wisdom to understand that if we pray for something, if it's God's will, it'll happen in His time. If it's not God's will for it to happen, then I know that He has something better.
I now see that Glory revealed as He is using me just the way I am and in ways others can't be used. I am now twenty-one years old and have completed a Bachelor of Commerce majoring in Financial Planning and Accounting. I am also a motivational speaker and love to go out and share my story and testimony wherever opportunities become available. I have developed talks to relate to and encourage students through topics that challenge today's teenagers. I am also a speaker in the corporate sector. I have a passion for reaching out to youth and keep myself available for whatever God wants me to do, and wherever He leads, I follow.

I have many dreams and goals that I have set to achieve in my life. I want to become the best witness I can be of God's Love and Hope, to become an international inspirational speaker and be used as a vessel in both Christian and non-Christian venues. I want to become financially independent by the age of 25, through real estate investments, to modify a car for me to drive and to be interviewed and share my story on the "Oprah Winfrey Show"! Writing several best-selling books has been one of my dreams and I hope to finish writing my first by the end of the year.
It will be called "No Arms, No Legs, No Worries!"

I believe that if you have the desire and passion to do something, and if it's God's will, you will achieve it in good time. As humans, we continually put limits on ourselves for no reason at all! What's worse is putting limits on God who can do all things. We put God in a "box". The awesome thing about the Power of God, is that if we want to do something for God, instead of focusing on our capability, concentrate on our availability for we know that it is God through us and we can't do anything without Him. Once we make ourselves available for God's work, guess whose capabilities we rely on? God's!

[ " bball gaMe with mY bRo ]

Yesterday we bought a basketball. the price ranges from rm 3 to rm 40. wah... rm3 also got. haha. it's still as big as the rm 40 ball wor. but we get the rm 10 ball. hehe. cant fork out rm 40 just for a ball la. ( stingy *) X)

aiyah, my bro woke me up at 8.45 am .... to get scolding from me. haha. cant wake up so early la. slept at 2 am the night before. so i continued to sleep .......

my hp alarm, which he had set, rang n woke me up again at 9 am. ish. okla. i'd already gave my word to play with him this morning. dont wanna disappoint him la. ( i always do! hehe) later he'll have tuition in the evening.

so we went to the ria court, my frens n i usually play in. as wat i ve expected, the whole place was so hot. the sun was shining ever so brightly. i hate hot weather. makes me feel dizzy n blur.
so i hide at a corner, under the shadow of the small tree, staring at my bro playing.
i wonder how his ball can masuk the ring, just first time shoot only le. wah, maybe i underestimate him. ceh.

i thk it's time i should do something. so, i prayed for a change of the weather. hoping that the sun will disappear or something. i joined my bro n we played for awhile under the sun.

eh... suddenly the whole area turned cloudy. the clouds were blocking the sun! yeah ! n the place was getting so windy too. wah, nice - nya.

my bro was telling me.... wah... God changed the weather to let us play. how great.
we didnt wanna leave the place as it was such a nice weather for us to play. so cooling n both the courts were ours. we played from one court to the other.
although we played for 15 mins under the hot sun, we were also given 25 mins break to really enjoy ourselves.
satisfaction guaranteed ! =D

[ " LoVe for enemIes ]

" but i tell u who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate u, bless those who curse u, n pray for those who ill-treat u.
If anyone hits u on one cheek, let him hit the other one too; if someone takes your coat, let him has your shirt as well.
Give to everyone who asks u for something, n when someone takes what is yours, do not ask for it back. Do for others just what u want them to do for u.

32 : If u love only the people who love u, why should u receive a blessing ? Even sinners love those who love them! n if u do good only to those who do good to u, why should u receive a blessing ? even sinners do that. n if u lend only to those from whom u hope to get it back, why should u receive a blessing ? even sinners lend to sinners, to get back the same amount. No.

Love your enemies n do good to them, lend n expect nothing back. You will then have great reward n u will be sons of the Most High God. For he is good to the ungrateful n the wicked. Be merciful just as your Father is merciful.
[ Luke 6: 27-36 ]

" u have heard that it was said, 'Love your friends, hate your enemies.'
but now i tell u: love your enemies n pray for those who persecute u, so that u may become the sons of your Father in heaven. for he makes his sun to shine on bad n good people alike, n gives rain to the just n unjust too...
and if u speak only to your friends, have u done anything out of the ordinary ?
[ matthew 5 : 38-48 ]

( short, but i find it very reasonable n meaningful passage )

[" the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven. wHo ? ]

Children ministry has a big impact on me. I did not realise it, that is not until i was told to give a testimony bout my work, my experience in sunday sch. that has given me an opportunity to sit down n ponder bout the time i spent in sun sch. wat have i learnt ? or wat have i gained ?

i made my decision to serve in sun sch was because of a pastor's message.
but i did worry too, since im not amicable with kids. i tend to find them very annoying, irritating and not adorable at all. everytime when my mom tells me ['oh, that little boy or little girl is so cute...so chubby. i will be like....... huh ? which part is cute ? yew...] ok. aiyah, let s not fret bout it. let everything works on its own way.

i've written bout how a little prayer had changed my work with the kids. yea... it was through this, i began to communicate with the children more. communication plays a significant role in developing friendship bonds. it is through communicating that i began to understand kids attitudes more. how peculiar, the irritating n annoying words, which i had them marked on most of the kids, are being erased slowly.

soon, i came to find that children can be a nice n entertaining companion. they talked a lot, but most of their words are very 'clean'. they dont talk like adults do, that is they mean what they say and will not beat around the bush to let u know something. although they may hurt us with their spontaneously spoken words, but it is alright somehow. sometimes, what they say may be true also.... hehe.

most of them have very funny characters. and this is what makes them as cute as ever. =)
these days i dont find children as a group of 'unwanted' people to be with.
cause they are the most 'special ' and 'beautiful' people in the community.

for it is written in Matthew 18 :
at that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, " who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?" He called a little child n had him stand among them. and he said, "I tell u the truth, unless u changed n become like little children, u'll never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven."

now i finally understood this verse.

ChiLdReN MiniStRy

After serving in the children's ministry for bout 2 yrs, i was asked to be teacher. cause maybe they are going to combine all the classes into one and i think they need more teachers than helpers. i had a little doubt bout it cause im not strict enough in handling kids. and also i doubt i can teach the sunday sch's lessons well. it is different from teaching a kindy u know...

but i accepted anyway. i was given a book with the instructions for my lesson. i have to prepare the games according to the instructions given. i have to take the kids' behaviours n abilities into concern too. one of the games i planned need 2 baskets. i only have one at home. but it was also too small. the kids will have to take the crumpled ball-like papers from the baskets.

of course, that night, i prayed for my first duty as a teacher to go smoothly. the previous helper-duty had taught me a lesson. hehe.

on that sunday, the minute i stepped into the church's entrance, oH, nO.... i forgot to find the baskets or to search for a replacement. shit la. how to play like that ?
but i wasnt really worry bout it. i told myself, aiyah, never mind la... later only i'll think bout it.
hehe. it was unusual that i didnt freak out.

the children sang the kids songs, gave offerings n prayed for the lesson. so we were about to start the game. eh... aiyah, my baskets le ? then i walked to the table where i put my bag with the stuff on. i turned to look at another table beside it, to have found 2 baskets on it ! wah .... where did those baskets come from huh ? and how nice it was when both the baskets are of different color. one is blue and the other is red. it surely will make the game easier.

haha. not bad. well, supposed to be very good ! God made everything ran smoothly on that morning.

God will be there to guide us through everything that we do.

i never understand why most of my frens told me this is a nice pendant.
hmm....

~ Today we figHt ! ~

There's always hope, my dear sis. Things don't always turn out the way you want them to be. Luck is just like a butterfly. If you keep chasing it you'll never get it, but if you just sit still it will come to you. Nay, most of the time failure comes before success.

Life has many paths. You'll soon come to choosing which path you'll be taking but your time is yet to come. This is not yet for you to decide. What you've to decide now is what to do with the time given to you. You're still young and have many hopes, many goals to gain. Fear is the weapon of the enemy. .......... you'll stand and fight whatever comes in life. Your life is appointed to you to lead, if you do not find the way,no one will. But even the smallest person can change the coast of the world. So Evelyn, my dearest friend, you'll soon see miracles though we do not know when.

But the day will come,
when the darkness falls and is lost as a memory,
when the sun rises.
It'll also be a day when all hopes of men fail but it is not this day,
it is not our day. I say today we fight.

( written by white pilgrim )

[ " RestoRatIon~ ]

This is kinda personal. But i'll make the story short.

When my Spm ended, my bf at that time went for a youth camp. After the camp, he told me a very strange story. In every church camp, there will be talks. And the talk in his camp was about relationship. The pastor, preaching, told them something.

He told them that he has a message from God that there is someone who is having a relationship that is not helping both parties. Maybe it isn't a healthy one I guess. He told me that he suddenly felt some strange feelings. So he went to talked to the pastor. He still didn't believe the pastor. Then the next day, a girl came up to him and told him she could feel something telling her that he is doing something which is not right. So, after the camp, we broke up. Of course both of us felt sad bout the it. I dare not say whether he is lying or not. Cause from what I know, he is a religious Christian and we are not supposed to use God's name in vain. Never mind that, it's no big deal anyway whether he did lie or not. hehe.

but that very same week, I attended church. My first time. One of my good buddies companied me, Ming Pei. I still remember, brother Vincent was preaching that morning. still vivid in my mind. And the topic was Restoration. Restoration in relationships. Hmm... is it a coincidence or... a sign? A message from God? Well, before that, we sang a song, titled 'God will make a way'. The song really moved me, mentally, spiritually, every '-ly 'too.

He talked bout restoration in relationships with God, families, friends, and even bf-gf relationships. He told us, maybe now we still couldn't understand why our loved ones left us, but someday God will restore our relationship with a better person. A better future. God has His own plans for us. We cannot tell now, and neither will we know what is in hold for us.

Now i realised that, somehow, it was a decision that promised no regrets. We are just 2 individuals who live in 2 different worlds. We rebelled against our parents many times. It isn't a good thing to do, for it was written that 'we should not disobey our parents'.

Soon after that, I saw a bookmark, which has a very meaningful message:
All God's testing has a purpose. Someday you will see the light. All He asks is that you trust in Him, walk by faith and not by sight.

[ this message God sent to me in church is .... i really don know how to describe. it's like... He just knows everything, everything. =)

well, it took me very long before i decided to post up this story, my real-life n personal experience. One of the reasons i post this message here is to tell some of my frens out there that dont get depressed if any of ur relationships failed, for God knows wat is best for us. ; )

There's alwiz hope ~

When the days grow darker,
the world is full of peril,
you may wonder all hopes have fallen.
The wave in the ocean crashes on the rocks,
the lightning strikes as the thunder roars.
You may wonder all hopes have fallen.
You lay your weary head on the ground that has turned brown,
no birds to sing a song, all roses become thorns.
The cold of winter comes, where lies the summer sun?

Dry is the golden sand, as you walk in bitter rain.
There is always hope as you walk in the lonely road.
The water in the ocean becomes gentle as you learn.
The sky after rain, ashes after flame,
silver lining reigns, the ground full of grains.
Winter wears its cold as summer warms your toes.
Do not let your heart discourage you,
and the roads that you must journey through.

Originally by The White Pilgrim

[ " Youth Make a DiffeRenCe ! ~ ]

Youth make a difference. My church frens invited me to join, but i was kinda reluctant to. It's held in FGA Air Itam,Pg le. Kinda far and not sure whether ill have transport or not. Yong Ying told me she ll be going n asked me to come along. hmm, at least ill have a company if things turn out boring huh ? hehe. so,okla. It was kinda rush cause my dad came home late after work that evening. Surely, my decision to attend was a last minute one.

However, when i reached, i was a bit excited, seeing so many people rushing into the entrance cause it was already time (8.30pm). The hall was packed with youths from different churches. So, i took my seat beside YY. As usual, before we start, we stood up, held our hands n prayed.
Then, one after another youth walked up to the stage in front of us, from behind.
wow. i couldnt remember what the first song was, but it surely rocks ! everyone rushed to the front, right in front of the performers on stage. The space behind was deserted.
I could see all of them jumping and jumping, with ' hands punching the air'. hehe. the performers n guitarists were all jumping too. it was really cool n rock. Most of the songs are nice, from the rock to the slow ones. 2 of the songs i like the most are 'One Desire' and 'One Way Jesus'. Now i know the reason my friends love One Way Jesus. After we sang the last song, everyone shouted 'encore'. So, we had another,but last one, 1 Way Jesus again ! whoa. nice.

The feelings were really great. There is one kind of 'feeling' when i sang those songs. It makes us reached out our hands, eyes closed n relax. I never had that feeling before in church during our worships. To feel the presence of the Lord with us.
Sometimes the songs can help me to feel 'lighten' or something like 'lifted up' whenever i have problems in my mind.
The concert was worth it. foc somemore. hehe. this concert took place a yr ago. my first experience. =)

Proverbs 12:25, "...Worry weighs a person down; an encouraging word cheers a person up."

Proverbs 27:10, "...Never abandon a friend- either yours or your father's. then in your time of need, you wont have to ask your relatives for assistance. it's better to go to a neighbour than to a relative who lives far away."

2 Corinthians 1:4, "...He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When others are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us."

- sUnDaY, 21 st -

We sang Amazing Love in church this morning. for last few days i kept bumping into this song on the web's blogskins n it turned out to be one of the songs in our worship. It is a very nice song. we learnt bout Kindness today. and i think this is a nice sentence to share. Small things done with great Love build bridges into darkened lives.

- the poSsibles & impoSsibles -

I had a great time last night (fri,may 19th) at the youth meeting. it was so much fun. n that was also my first youth meeting i attended. hehe. i join a cell group meeting on fri night too. but it is quite far away from my house (takes bout 20 mins drive). another reason i usually skip cell meeting is cause my parents dont allow me to go for a long-distant drive alone without the sun's company. geez...and also my all time fav tv sitcom is at 10.45pm ! F.R.I.E.N.D.S. Final season le !! i've been following this series for more than 4 yrs already n now ill miss the final season ? oh no.... it's so hard to resist. cell meeting normally ends at 10.40pm.

hmm... so, at first i thought i was gonna be home again on fri night. but hehe...looks like God has a plan for me already. hehe.
ish. my hp was ringing, but it was downstairs. when i got hold of it, the call hang up. who called ? 1 missed call ...... oh.... Pastor ? he said tonight there will be a youth meeting... n it's only behind my house ! a new Christian neighbour just shifted into my housing area. whoa. did God just transfer the youth meeting from chai leng park to raja uda ?
oOops. with God everything is possible. =)

> Matthew 19:26, "...humanly speaking, it is impossible. but with God everything is possible " <

- beautiful -

" Love is patient n kind,
Love is not jealous n boastful,
It is not arrogant or rude,
Love does not insist on its own way,
It is not irritable or resentful,
It does not rejoice at wrong,
But rejoices in the right,
Love bears all things,
Believes all things,
Hope all things,
Endures all things,
Love never ends .... "
~ 1 corinthians 13:4-8 ~

[" dRoWniNg ]

swImmIng ?? oH nOoo !~ the memory that I had bout swimming was freaking me out. I can say that I was traumatised by the incident. It was a long, long time agO... but I've just remembered the incident after watching Da Vinci code ... (young Tom Hanks in the well, remember?) Well, I've never gone near a well before. hehe.

I was alone, playing with water in the small pool. My parents weren't somewhere nearby. After small pool, I discovered an even smaller pool hidden under umbrellas. haha. There were many people resting around it. Dont know what strucked my mind at that time la. The only thing I remembered was, I ran & jumped !
oH.... it did look small enough, but the 'body' wasnt. Damn it. My little, undersized legs could not touch any concrete ground. Sinking !! To jump & to sink. hmm... i couldnt remember much, since I was only around primary 3 (if im not mistaken). There is no one who can come to my help. The only thing that i can thk of in a moment like this, is, 'God,pls help me! '.
The next thing I knew, I was floating up n sinking down for many times. I didnt even have a chance to scream 'help'. Amazing enough, my right hand touched a handle. I reached it, hold on tight to it and pulled myself out. cause if there is a handle, there will be the stairs too.

Sometimes incidents like this kept us thinking for awhile. it sure was scary.
When there is nothing more u can do at the moment u thk will be the end of everything, there is one way out. Close your eyes, think of Him. Pray.

- da vinci code ? -

da..da..da..vinci code ?although i dont quite understand the storyline, there was one part that touched me so much. at the ending, Robert(tom hanks) told Sophie one thing he did. He recalled bout the moments in the well. n he said...the only thing that he did was pray. That had kept him alive for so long in the well. =)

- oH...the kiDzZ -

Sometime early 2004, I gave my name to aunty Grace. She is our Sunday school s leader. So, from that day onwards, ill be a helper in Sunday sch. My duty is about once a month. When I first started, I was a stranger to every kid n so are the kids to me. Well, I can say that I m not good in socializing with new friends. Usually ill be sitting at a corner n will only lend a hand when I m needed. Or else, u will see me yawning away n 'morning-dreaming'. Hehe.

Haih...then I told myself...maybe I ll just wait. Making new friends needs time. Ok lo...so I waited n waited. Guess how long already...??
Ok, one night, the night before I was on duty the next day, I prayed. Haha. It was the very first time I prayed for my duty in sun sch. Cause, I ve finally decided to quit the job. I juz cant take it anymore. I know this duty I am taking is also serving the Lord. But I want to serve Him with a sincere feeling. N not to try to console myself every time before my duty. Hope u get wat I mean. There must be the joy, interest n passion in a task we wanna handle. Okla, so I told Him...just let me enjoy my duty tmr. I really wish to continue if I can just have a chance to communicate with the kids during their lessons.

=) most of the kids came to me n talked to me. Few of them made me laughed with their funny characters. Oh...hmm...a good sign huh? After that I did continue...until now. I get to sing-along with them; listen to their 'never-ending' stories, share their thoughts, colouring pictures together and the most important point here is that now I get to serve God and His children too. There is the 'family feeling' inside it. To pray n ask God for help are important. This is the main point I learnt here. All I need to do is just one simple prayer. N it took me almost one year to do that. # )

>> James 5:16, "...The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power & wonderful results".

brennan & phillip, whom i got to know during the x'mas play !
God has added few more good friends into my friend's list ! =D

- X' mas -

Oh...Xmas is around the corner. A few of my church members asked me to join the Xmas play...but hmm...I rejected. Actually, the reason is, I m not very close to those who took part in the play. Although I've attended this church for like, more than 2 yrs now...my conversations with the youths are just 'Hi, how are u?' and 'bye'. So, I wanted to avoid from taking part, but they urged me to.
Okla...nvm. No harm trying. I'll be singing for the Lord, n I can't just run away just because I m afraid I don't have friends to talk to during the practices.

=) during my first practice, I still remember, a guy named Phillip sat beside me n introduced himself. Hehe. He's definitely one friendly person. Hmm...then from him, I get to know another friend, Brennan. Not bad, not bad. Soon, there was this little girl who had to stand in front of me for the play. She's one sweet, adorable girl, yet noisy at times. # ) but it's nice. Without her, the play wont be fun. Since she's only 9 yrs old...aiyah. Close one eye la. By the way, her name is Denise. Haha. She always makes us laugh cause she's talkative. very cute.
From Denise, I got to know her younger sis, Joy. Oh, another person. Joanne. Jessica, her elder sis is close to me, but I never talked to Joanne before. Weird. Guess I just seldom notice her when I attend church. There are always too many people walking n talking. Joanne was supposed to stand beside me for the play (on my left). Another young girl was also beside me on my left, Yee Jia.

Geez...im abit confused now. Wow...can anyone notice what's going on here? During every practice, we chit chat, talk craps, played tricks n laughed. How enjoyable it was, I must say. That is how a stranger becomes a friend. Isn't it wonderful?

I must say, that was the best Xmas gift God has given me. A circle of friends. I ve never celebrated Xmas in church before, and now I m participating in a play with so many friends. It makes me realized one thing. Sometimes, when God is trying to help us, we dont realize it...n we keep pushing the 'help' away cause of fear or certain factors. Just trust in Him n He will lead the way for us...

>> Genesis 26:24 , "Do not be afraid for i am with u n will bless u "
>> Proverbs 20:24 , "How can we understand the road we travel? It is the Lord who directs our steps "

<< hmm.... >>

~ da dVd stoRy ~

On May 7th, I borrowed a dvd with the title 'United We Stand' from James. It's a Christian songs’ concert n it really rocks man. The concert is cool, but I only enjoyed few songs. I still think Planetshakers is better. Anyway, I borrowed from him, n told him I will return it maybe 2 weeks later cause I might have to skip church again on the following Sunday (due to mother's day). Hehe. Don’t think mother is more important that God, k. But we are celebrating it somewhere else, so my family won’t be around in Butterworth.

Ok, then after watching the dvd for a few days...I changed my mind. I decided to return to him by that Sunday, May 14, 2006. Cause I’m not sure whether he needs it or not... n considering that it was the first time we talked! Well, since I won’t be attending church, I need to get someone to pass the dvd to him. But who la? The few friends whom I'm close to are staying in Bukit Mertajam (Phillip & Brennan). That is far. I tried to think of others, but still failed.

On Saturday, May 13, 2006, I went to Pacific with other friends. I purposely parked my car in front of my church, FGA to see whether by any chance it is opened. Hmm... =(

Nvm then. So we hang out n my friends decided to catch a movie, MI 3. We went to the top floor to buy the tickets. They queued up while I was talking to a tuition fren nearby. Suddenly, I felt a pat on my back. Guess what???!

It was Sam! Wow! I couldn’t believe my eyes. So the first thing I did is, take out the dvd n pass it to her. Ee Kai was carrying a bag, so I'm sure the dvd is going to be fine with them. Haha. Actually, it was kinda impossible for them to see me cause I was at a different corner n my back was facing them. In another word, God is awesome! He just is n will, always. Hehe, before watching Mission Impossible, my mission has already been accomplished! ; ) I couldn’t stop thinking bout the incident. All I can say is that God will always open a way for us when there seems to be no way! ~

>>> GoD wiLL maKe a waY foR us when theRe seeMs to be nO waY <<<

- wat a lovely cartOOn ! -