Travel

 

Christmas is coming! 🎄

I used to be very happy in the month of December.
For several reasons:

1. Christmas season! My favourite season of the year.
    In fact, it is everyone's favourite season of the year.

2. Bonus month. December bonus. wow. But not for me anymore this year.
    Should i have waited until year end for my December bonus before i quit ?
    Or I should not have. 
    I chose not to wait and here i am.
    Drooling over the big money which i can spend on many things at home,
    Bought a new mattress, bought a new water filter and car service (this Saturday).
    All gonna total up to RM 850 + RM 2699 + RM 600 (estimate).

3. School Holiday.
    This year 2024 year end holiday is very short.
    It is only 1 week, during Christmas week.
    And our plan is to travel to KL.
    I hope to have short trip but my husband wanted a longer stay to visit his family.
    If i am travelling without my children then i dont mind staying for
    one whole week or even longer!
    What is they fall sick in KL, there are no doctors we are familiar with.
    And nobody to help me out.
    My husband family is a big family with 4 brothers including himself. 
   SO many grandchildren and they usually eat out. 

    Sigh * Nobody understands * Sigh

I keep praying that someone will understand and this trip will be only a 4 days 3 nights trip instead.
Please help ! Amen ! 🙏

# signing off # 5 December 2024 # 3.25 pm #

Back to School

 It is Monday again.

The start of the week.

The start of everything new.

Back to school.

Back to work.

I hope that my days will be brighter in December.

Dare not hope. Dare not plan. Dare not think of anything.

Just pray and continue to pray.

I told myself to read my Bible every night but i still am not determined enough.

Now i am scared whenever i hear my son cough or sneeze. 

When they sneeze, my heart froze.

When they cough, my throat choked.

Today I have thrown away basically everything that is old and rotten in my house.

I have ordered a new mattress yesterday to replace my old one which has vomits and urine on it.

I have thrown away an old side table which was already tearing or falling apart.

My aunty will be going back home tomorrow.

So sad. I wish she can stay with us longer as she is jovial and helps us a lot.

She came to help out whenever my kids are in hospital. i dont even know how i can repay my aunties and uncles. 

Every year i will book hotel and stay with my aunties and uncle during year end or chinese new year. Sometimes even eat good food during birthdays.

Now i am jobless, my uncle said to me, so i dont have to give them anymore money. haha. so embarrassing.

Over the years they have been helping us in and out ever since my brother was small.
and now is already the second generation with my kids.

She cannot stand my mom nagging and complaints everyday.

nobody can stand that honestly.

The worst part of it is that my mom does not admit it.
She will instead said we are the ones who made her depressed all the time.
Especially me. She blamed me for her depressions.
I am so sad la.

She always say hurtful remarks to me just because she is jealous of me talking to my aunties and dad and everyone else except her.

I cannot have a long conversation with her or else i am going to go crazy.

She still wants to control me on everything that i do.

and control my children's school work, educations, etc.

Now she is starting to chase my dad and my aunty to come stay in my house.

I am already currently taking care of my two kids at home. 

I hope i can take care of my old parents but my kids are so weak.

I now still need my mom and my dad and even my aunt to come help me with my kids.

But my mom likes to backstab and add salt to wounds.
It is like she is not satisfied with everything.

She told my brother of what i said so i had to explain to my brother my reasons.

# signing off # 11.35 pm # 2 December 2024 #

It's December

 When will i stop going to hospital.

The world is changing, but not for better but for worse.

Christmas is coming. 

There are so many plans for December but i really don't dare to plan at all.

My plans always fail.

We just came back from hospital on Saturday.

My youngest son admitted because of fever and wheezing.

I dont even dare to come home because the weather outside now is super cold.

People call it the monsoon season, but i noticed it is extremely cold this year end compared to previous years.

Suddenly, staying in the hospital felt safer than home.

Oh NO , i don't want that.

I want to stay in hotels and not hospitals, please.

After we came home, i quickly find those old stuff or old mattress or old toys to clear and throw away.

Now i am undecided whether to change a new expensive water filter or a cheap one.

I have always known that once i quit, things are not going to change miracously. 

My children still continue to fall sick and i still need to spend a lot of money on medicals and treatments and new things.

I don't want to go into direct sales or any sales. It is not my interest.

but free lance sales is more suitable for my situation now.

If i am still working, I will be getting my 2 months bonus + salary which means 3 months in total in December ! Can u imagine how much that would be ?! i can get 24k in just a month.

Sigh 😔

God please guide me through my life everyday. 

I don't want anything else. But i just want good health for my family members especially both my boys.

Since Christmas is coming, we will need to travel down to KL to visit my husband's family.

I love to travel, I love to go Christmas shopping. But the fear of finding good food and good accommodation for my kids is killing me. 

I have no more FREEDOM to travel peacefully.

My mom said something very hurtful to me today. She said that after i quit my job i took care of my kids and they fell sick even more often until have to be hospitalized.

It hurts so much when i am already so sad and depressed inside.
Many asked me to stay positive and give me supportive words, but my mom shoved me with insults and hurtful remarks instead. 

Deep down inside, i have always asked myself, why is my mom so negative all the time.
She has always lived in fear her whole life and now it has affected me and my brother too.

How will this ever improve ?

I can only PRAY. Keep Praying. 

# signing off # 11.21 pm # 1 December 2024 #

Another Hospital Visit

 

Another Hospital visit ! Argh!

I have been asking why do i need to visit the hospital so often. 

Clinic, hospital...

Hospital, clinic....

Something is wrong somewhere...

Something is just not right ....

My youngest son sick again, with sore throat, fever, flu and now coughing.

It has just been 3 weeks since his last flu cough and wheezing!

It's like both of them are taking turns and it is getting more and more often.

Is there anything that i should be doing and have not done it yet ?

Mutivitamins, probiotics, good milk powder, fruits everyday.

I have been going to Sunway Medical Centre every week.
Is there a VIP pass for family ? LIke a VIP package or something.

Need to check my son now in the room. 
Continue praying hard for both my sons' health.

# signing off 9.08 am # 26 November 2024 #

Fragile

 Today we went for follow up in Sunway Medical Centre for my eldest son. 
 Good to see him improving for now.

However, my youngest son has sore throat today. 
And it looks kind of painful since he has been complaining a lot.
He just had 3 sticks of pocky sticks and half grilled seaweed and today aglio olio spaghetti non spicy.

How come my kids are so fragile.

How i wish they can eat out like all the other children. 
Just a little bit of outside food then sore throat.

I have seen so many children eating noodles, pizza, kfc, mcdonalds but i cant let my kids try.

I did let them try but one time only the next thing i know they are having ulcers and sore throat.

It is so sad. Sometimes i feel so embarrassing for bringing out home cook food for my kids when we are eating out. My eldest son is already 11 years old and my youngest is 9 years old. 

Every time during family gathering, it is so troublesome when all they can eat is white rice and steam chicken, steam fish, steam eggs or stir fry vegetables. If others want to go for fast food, we cannot join.

Children this age have started travelling and eating outside food. How i wish my children can have that too.

Life is also about enjoying food. Trying out new food while you are still young.

# signing off # 11.20pm # 23 November 2024 #

Miss Me ?

I am back. 

Should i start to add some photos here? 
Please leave a comment if u think i should.
Pictures paint a thousand words.
One can understand a whole lot more from a picture.

Today is the last day for my children's exams. Phew. What a relief.
I bought Uno cards and Millionaire board games for them to play.
We played two rounds of Uno cards and i went to take an afternoon nap.

I bought grilled seaweeds for my kids to eat as snacks. 
My youngest boy just had one of it then told me that he has sore throat in the evening.
I'm not sure it's from the seaweed or it's the screaming while playing Uno cards.

My mission is to get them to reduce their screen time, especially on Handphones.
TV is far more better as tv has a bigger screen.
HP has more radiation too.

For the past years my kids have been so used to playing handphones under my mother's care.
They even play while eating lunch and dinner which is totally so bad for them.
This is not the way I would want my little kids to grow up with.
Not for now, at least. While they are still so young.

Let's move on. My colleague called me. My manager called me. My colleagues texted me.
ALL of THEM MISSED ME.

Let me show u one of the messages. I thought of typing them here but I think showing the real texts are way better to FEEL them, eh ? haha. I will just blanko some of the names to safeguard their names. The other colleagues sent me voice messages so i cannot upload them here.

I am so happy that I have been missed by so many of them.
At least the efforts and sacrifices and assistance that i rendered to them when i was working there was all worth it.
I MISS THEM TOO.

Most of them treat me well. It is the working culture that i cannot cope with. Too much workload and i need to spend more time with my family, especially my kids.

Anyway, at some point, i felt a sense of satisfaction when they told me that I am the best admin staff and no one can ever replace me. 
Although i know that i cannot turn back time and return to the office.
Well, HR told me so.
I remember that when i was working in HR, there were many ex staff who had left and returned after several years, even my own mentor.

But anyhow, I still cannot put all the puzzle pieces together yet for now. 

My utmost priority is my children now.
This is the main reason I left my highly paid job. 
My kids need me more than anything now.
My mother is not in the state of mind to look after them anymore,
Neither is my aunt who has been helping for the past years. 
My kids have been pestering me to resign so that they can escape my mother's torture.
Until now i still cannot understand why my mom keeps stressing my children with their school work and revisions everyday.
Even my aunty can recall that my eldest son has been crying almost everyday in my mother's house.
My mom loves to lecture. I told her that she should have been a lecturer or a teacher and not a nurse.
Now i will not force him because all i want is for him to be healthy and grow up healthier and stronger.

It breaks my heart to a million pieces every time he falls sick. Taking so much medicine. He looks so helpless and so clumsy all the time. 

I need to help him. There is no one else who can help my sons other than me, their mummy.

# signing off # 12.30am # 23/11/2024# 

Missing work

 Honestly, I have been missing my office colleagues and the work that I used to do.

I mean, how can I not when I have been in the same place in and out and interacting with all the "gossipers" for 14 years. Well, i will not deny that they are the friendliest and funniest and most fun to be with gossipers whom i have met.

Believe me or not, I still dream of office every week. My manager, my previous manager, my colleagues and even some of the documents.

I actually wanted to apply for the 6 months unpaid leave. Deep down inside, even though I hate the amount of work and old-fashioned management style, I have been mold to endure them up until now. 

Unfortunately, Marcus did not encourage me to do that. He even insisted that if i ever still want to work in that terrible working environment then he will quit his job instead and let me continue working.

Well, I do complained alot, yah, damn ALOT because I cant cope with the amount of work given. At one hand, I also wanted to help out the others whenever i can. But on the other hand, I am drowning with my own workload too.

Time to refresh a little bit of my memories before they fade away. haha. Oh dear, this is gonna be a long post. Let's start with the morning routine, shall we?

In the morning:
-send daily reporting to head office manager via watsapp. (workforce & productivity)
-print daily fax journal reports and file.
-print daily rps printer trial balance (account reports).
-open emails and start printing the incoming emails from the time where i stopped the day before.
-usually there will be one virtual meeting that my manager will have with head office staff, so when there is meeting it will start at 8.30am and i will be rushing to get last minute reports ready for my manager. it's super stressful. i dont need to attend the meeting but it stresses me when my manager is stress too. haha. it is a natural chain reaction, right?
-continue printing incoming emails from all the sales staff as well as customers and internal head office emails. this work may seem easy but it takes up alot of my time because there are many documents to print and we share printers. 
-there will definitely be interruptions in between all of this work, for example phone calls from head office, customers and suppliers. or even phone calls from our internal sales staff who are outside.
i cannot ignore them, can i? 

some say i am too soft hearted. i should be selfish and focus on my own work instead.

Lunch time:
-continue printing emails while eating my lunch at my own workstation. haha. seriously.
i try not to do that everyday or else i might die of indigestion one day.
i miss those times when we went out for lunch with a group of colleagues and really enjoy our lunch time together. that was before covid happened. Argh, all because of Covid. Work was much easier before Covid came.

In the Afternoon:

-we have weekly reports, fortnightly reports, ad hoc reports and also monthly reports to compile for head office monitoring. 
-they may even request for ad hoc reports at the end of the day, at 5.30pm when i am just going to start my day end work. printing of emails i normally set a cut off time at 5 pm. so that i can finish off some other important stuff like reports and replying to customers' emails. 
-there will be phone calls from HR department asking for staff claims, appraisals etc or even finance division.
-interbranch may even call up to check on some site visitations.
-there will always be urgent emails to send out to other branches and replying to customers inquiries.

I must admit that PDPA has become a very important part of every companies guidelines. To safeguard customers information is the top most priority for every company. 

Restrictions on every staff personal IDs and passwords is one important rule that we must comply.
This has somehow make some of our daily work difficult. Limited users for certain systems. Limited access to certain systems. Spams, phishing emails, frauds are everywhere.

And the list goes on ... People always say, work will never end, and it is true.

I cannot really express how i feel now, from a such a hectic lifestyle to a boring and quiet daily routine while taking care of my two little precious ones at home.

Many may tell me this, wow girl, you are so fortunate to be a housewife. Away from all the work stress.
but when i go out and some have started asking me, are you on leave today? I feel shy to inform them that I am now a housewife taking care of my two kids at home.

I never dream of climbing up the corporate ladder, neither have i dream of becoming a housewife one day. 

My dream is to save up a lot of money and buy a house of my own one day. I almost accomplished that but ended up nothing because i was a coward. Worrying too much about the future. Because i know that one day i will quit this job to look after my kids who have been falling sick so often since small.

There is one more reason to it. My mom has always been encouraging me to quit my job.
Everyone knows that I have been arguing with my mom for the past few years about this issue.
I honestly do not understand why she insists on this. Every mother would want to see their children successful, having a secure job and be able to save up for the future. But not my mom. Anyway, this is another story to tell. But not tonight. 

# signing off # 11.30pm # 21 November 2024 # Happy Birthday to my bestie Siew Ping ! #

Pieces of my Past

‎I wonder will there ever be a person who is gonna read my stories.

I just realized that I had created two blogs of my own. haha. 
It was fun creating my own blog designs and editing while learning html back then.

Years back when i was studying in university, many wanted to be bloggers.

Everyone created their own blogs and there were many famous bloggers too.

But since Facebook and Smart phones came into our lives, things have changed.

No one blogs anymore. No one writes their diaries in here anymore.

Nowadays people even have Instagram and Tiktok apps where they share their daily live stories online for everyone around the world to read and the best part of all is they can even earn money from it !

Well, honestly, many things have changed since i quit my job.

Every now and then i wonder about these few things that happened in my life:

First:     What would my life be if i had not gotten married? 
              What would my life be if i had stayed single all this time?

Second: What would my life be if i never had kids of my own?

Third:    What would my life be if I had not moved back to my hometown in Penang?

Fourth:   What would my life be if I had not studied in Kuala Lumpur and found a job in KL 15 years  ... ago ?

Fifth:      What would my life be if I quit my job? 
                I have done this and it is coming to my third month of being a jobless mom.
                I will share more about how my life turned out few months from now.

All I know is that my priorities have changed.

It is always hard to look back to our past and ponder on our past when there is no turning back... decisions made can never be undone.

# signing off #19th November 2024# 10.51pm #

A Hospital Stay !

 

As I was saying, "More time to share my life stories?"

I was so wrong!

Few days ago my eldest son, Isaac had high fever and diarrhea. 
His fever went as high as 40 degrees. We went to his pediatric in Bukit Mertajam as usual and doctor suspected rotavirus. We went home and his fever was still high and he kept having stomach cramps and diarrhea for almost 6 times!

So we decided to send him to hospital, Sunway Medical Centre, the newly opened hospital in Seberang Jaya. We usually go to Gleneagles Hospital, but it was so far, an hour drive to the island.

No time to waste, I packed my stuff and we brought Isaac to the emergency ward.
Admitted to the children's ward at 11 pm.

Honestly, we felt much better with the drip and supervisions from the hospital. Even with the food prepared has made us more relaxed. There was no time for me to cook meals for Isaac as I was busy attending to him, wiping him to cool his fever down and giving him medicines.

Thankfully my mom helped me with the cooking and taking care of my youngest son, Samuel.

On the second day, Isaac's fever subsided. Isaac was still having lots of stomach cramps and diarrhea for 4 times in the morning. After taking the SmectaGo and wind medicines, his diarrhea stopped and i felt so relieved. We both prayed so hard that morning. It was freaking me out.

Thank God so much that Isaac has finally managed to calm down and we soon started to enjoy the movies in the hospital TV. Even the food was to our content.

Night sleep was comfortable too. The nurses outside were very noisy and Isaac told me that they laughed like 'witches'. Haha. This has at least made our stay not so quiet and sorrowful environment, especially at night time.

Needless to say, I have been staying in hospital every year accompanying both my kids for the past years. I thought this year since it was coming to an end (November), that I will get to skip this year without a hospital stay.

Nope! 

When will this curse be lifted or spell be broken ?

#signing off#18 November 2024# 11.35pm # 

The Most Challenging Decision Ever Made !

 Hey there!

My life has changed so much over the one year that has passed.

Now i have more time for myself and my family, especially my two boys.

Surprisingly, i have quit my job! I still cannot believe that I have made that daring decision.

It was the biggest change in my life and i can say that it is the hardest decision i have ever made so far.

Honestly, I loved my job. I worked as an admin in a bank. I am paid quite well, i would say, as i am only an admin executive. My bosses have graded my performance as outstanding and that gave me good increments as well as bonuses every year, for the past 14 years there.

Well, my salary has almost reached 10k and i get 2+3.5 month bonuses each year.

In fact, no one would actually believed that my salary is this high for just an admin and so many months of bonuses each year.

It is such a heartache that i had to leave a career that i have built up over the years. 

14 YEARS ! can u imagine that ??

I have so so much to share as now i have more personal time and i need to share it with 'someone'.

Until then,

3-v-e

12 Nov 2024

I noticed that there is no year written so im gonna pen down the year for me to keep track.

April

Last week was a terrible week . It was so hard for me to get by. My banking service manager blamed me for losing the Master Image that the branch and my centre was sharing. 

 Master Image is a hard disk that stores all our data to set up a new PC. The branch needed it for the red carpet banking new computers installation. I was so damn worried that I really lose it. My ITD guy told me that branch should be keeping it inside their strong room, a place where they keep security items along with the cash. The banking services manager even wanted me to take the blame and write an email to my ITD bangi (HQ) to give explanation for losing it. . 

 As a matter of fact, I couldnt remember anything about keeping the master image at all. I couldnt even remember how it looked like for goodness sake ! Oh dear, I couldnt sleep for days and couldnt even talk to anyone in office. Who else can help me to find. And I even thought i had thrown it away along with the other old RAMS plastics. All this happened a year ago ! How can I even remember when I cant even recall previous weeks work. At the end, when my banking service manager found it, inside her own branch strong room, she called me to inform, to inform nia.... never even apologized to me. haiyo... I only told her that thanks to her, I couldnt sleep for days . -_- 

 I hope she wont ever find me to be the scape goat again in the future when things go missing. From this incident, I have realised that i should keep a book to write down whenever we hand over any important documents over to the branch. 

 I am really thankful this issue is solved. I am grateful too for having Mr Guna (ITD Penang) guy backing me up and assured me that the master image shouldnt have been with and should have been kept by the branch and they are only finding me to take the blame (tai-chi). 

 God has sent a good samaritan to help me ! =)

I have been so busy for the past 2 weekends.
first, my cousin sister's wedding. although it is just a wedding, it is a big wedding to me. haha. she used to be my one and only closest cousin sister. we grew up together since we are both Rabbits. hehe.

A week after that was my training on Employment Act 1955. An interesting topic to study on. The topic covers a very big area. We were given so many case study for better understanding, but most of it are not so simple. i wonder whether does Wen Li study the laws for employment boh...

Deepavali is coming. yeah. finally a weekend for me to rest.

The MCTF '10 ...
here i come! =)

gosh, i was really over excited la. not sure why. haha. just happy cause my first time participating in all this events. probably i should join events organiser instead la. haha.

this pic below is when we are closing the exhibition centre after 7+ pm. the crowd came as early as 10 am. I am pretty sure there will be an even bigger crowd tmr. I was planning to help out tmr, willingly, but nah... i guess i shouldnt over react la... =P
I was hoping to get more pictures on this event, but better focus on work more.

I caught a pic of an orange lion next to my boOth. he looks so funny inside the costume.

I cant help it, but to tickle his chin =X

Isnt he just adorable ??? haha.

Well, throughout the day, i have met many candidates from nationwide and from various backgrounds too. some came all the way from johor or perak. I met one from S'pore too. There are also foreigners. haha. one Mat Salleh guy was too tall and when he stood in front of me, we both laughed.

Many fresh grads out there looking for jobs. It was definitely a good chance for all the job seekers from everywhere to try out. Some look abit lost, some were too desperate for jobs, some were looking for changes in job scopes, and the hell, some were even toO desperate to get our souveniors ! =S

There are macam macam types of homo sapiens out there that u cannot even imagine !

I have been busy lately. Kinda addicted to Plant vs Zhombie games. haha.

Anyway, i have been sitting in with the other seniors for a few interviews. It sure was interesting to meet candidates from various backgrounds. haha. Still learning on the ways of interviewing and selecting the right or suitable candidates.





And ill be going for the Jobstreet MCTF'10 Career Day tmr in Mid Valley ! yeah! My very first time standing at the booth meeting fresh grads or job seekers from all around our country. It sure will be fun though it will also definitely be tiring standing for the whole day. But i know it is an experience i would not want to miss. Unfortunately I couldnt get myself in for the Sat session cause full ady...

Oh by the way, yesterday I also kpc join the long queue in the Burger King shop for the Whooper promotion. lol. Queue up for 1 hour for 3 biji Whooper! Aihz.... as if i cant afford to buy likee thaat.... =P

rewind, rewind...

pix of my colleagues in my previous company











i missed the foodcourt there. more varieties.

the guy is one of my closest friends in office. he is a funny guy. very famous in my department. quite cute ler. haha. a very helpful friend.
this girl used to sit beside me in office.
now she left dee also. will be working in s'pore since her bf found a job there.
i have met quite a number of girls where their bfs are working in spore and they are here in msia. so 'san fu' la, no meh ? can only meet once a month or sometimes twice if there are more holidays.

by the way, when work is stress or when it gets bored, this is what i normally do =)




i will turn around and take a peep at this ;)
this tall tower has become one of my fav place to jalan jalan. hehe.